


Too Late, Too soon

by Miyucchi



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst?, F/M, Lovina Vargas, One Shot, One-Sided Attraction, Self Confidence Issues, South Italy bias
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-08-05 05:56:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16362152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miyucchi/pseuds/Miyucchi
Summary: She gave up on him too soonHe realized his feelings too late.However as old doors close new opportunities are given.





	Too Late, Too soon

Despite what many seemed to believe Lovina Vargas was no idiot. She knew what her sister’s friends thought of her just as well as she voiced out her thoughts on them. 

 

_ Angry. _

 

_ Bitchy. _

 

_ Ungrateful. _

 

_ Rude. _

 

_ Bratty. _

 

Yes, all of those were words they used to describe her. It wasn’t her fault that she couldn’t compare to her sister.  _ Who could? _

 

She knew she wasn’t as cute as Felicia. She knew she wasn’t as pretty, cheerful, or bubbly as her. She knew she always stood second best compared to her sister in everyone’s eyes including her own. And for the most part she was okay with that. She has always been a rude little shit. She knows it. They know it. Everyone knows it. The only difference was that she let her true nature show. She knew she was an asshole. She knew that she kept everyone at arm's length.

 

_ What was that saying again? _

 

_ Ah yes, trust nobody not even yourself. _

 

However despite her mind telling her this, there were days in which she wished to be acknowledged as well. Even if it were just by her one and only family member, her Nonno. But that was impossible wasn’t it? After all she wasn’t perfect Felicia. She was just plain Lovina. Lovina who came short to second of her sister in everything whether it be music, art, cooking, or even gardening. 

 

Even their childhood friend, Antonio Carriedo has gotten tired of her shit already it seems. Even with him knowing her first, the second he met her cute bubbly twin he had abandoned Lovina without a second thought. No worries though. After all Lovina had never even intended to get close to that kid in the first place. However without her knowing he had managed to slip inside an unknown crack in her heart. 

 

Regardless of this, no resentment was felt on the days in which he came over only to hug and cuddle with Felicia, it was expected after all. Lovina was the asshole of the family. She was the dark spot in the otherwise cheerful and beautiful image that her family provided. And she was going to stay that way damn it, regardless of what anyone told her. She wasn’t about to be fake smiles and pretend to be someone she isn’t simply for others. If someone wanted to get close to her they were going to have to withstand her bitchy attitude. 

 

_ ‘It’s better to stand alone than with those who hurt you,’ _ after all. That was her life motto. And that Spanish bastard was no exception. Or so she thought.

 

_ ‘You would have so many more friends if you just acted more like your sister,’ _ she remembered her Nonno had sighed once. And at this, at the tender age of 7 she had paused.

 

_ What good would it do to hide behind a phony smile? _

 

_ Why did she have to change herself to please others? _

 

_ Why couldn’t she just be herself? _

 

She remembered having shouted, before kicking her Nonno in the shin and running to her bedroom.

 

Anyway regardless of her tragic backstory, she had no idea why she felt so affected when watching Antonio and Felicia interact with each other. It was expected….. _ wasn’t it? _ They were both cheerful, popular, and energetic. Birds of a feather flock together after all,  _ don’t they? _

 

_ Why then, did she feel her heart being ripped into pieces as she took in Antonio’s question? _

 

Before she gets into these strange feelings that she’s currently experiencing let’s start at the beginning. 

 

There she was minding her own business and tending her precious tomato garden, when said Spaniard walked in. As always she had scowled at him, however instead of responding with his usual cheerful smile he had given her another, one filled with nervousness.

 

“Alright I give tomato bastard,” she said gruffly, flipping her waist length dark brown locks to the right side as she picked up a basket of tomatoes and set it off to the side, “what’s making you look so fucking miserable, you usually have a stupid smile spread across your idiotic face.”

 

She watched as the idiot took in a deep breath before settling into a uncharacteristically serious expression. Ignoring her raising heartbeat she gave the other another scowl, “well?” She snapped, “hurry up I don’t have all fucking day.”

 

“Lovi,” he started, taking in a deep breath, “I w-wanted to know if….if….you….if you would,” he stuttered, a blush spreading across his face. Lovina’s heart stopped for a moment, and unbeknownst to both a bright red blush spread across her face, her heartbeat accelerated even more and something akin to….hope? Spread and raced across her entire body. Trying to take in all of these emotions spreading across her heart all at once she nearly missed what he said next.

 

“Let me date your sister?”

 

All at once, every emotion that had coursed through her body disappeared, leaving her feeling strangely empty. She took in the nervous look on the tomato bastard’s face as she took a minute to process his request. Of course he wanted to date Felicia. Innocent, cute, adorable Felicia. 

 

_ ‘Birds of a feather flock together’  _ after all.

 

_ What had she been expecting? _

 

_ What had she been expecting? _

 

_ What had she been expecting? _

 

_ Why  _ had her heartbeat raised when he looked at her with those bright emerald eyes?

 

Ignoring all of these swirling emotions she was currently struggling with she emptied her mind. That’s what she’s been doing all of these years after all. Felicia came first. She was always first, even before Lovina’s own feelings. Even if she felt as if her heart had been torn into two, she had to stay strong.

 

_ ‘Don’t depend on anyone but yourself.’ _

 

That’s how it’s always been with her after all.

 

And so she opened her eyes,  _ ‘when had she closed them?’ _ and gave the tomato bastard the best glare she could.

 

“You’re not good enough for my sister,” she snarled at him, taking pleasure in his wide scared gaze, “however if she likes you back….go for it,” she agreed, narrowing her bright hazel eyes at him, “if you break her heart I’ll break your neck,” she threatened before shouldering past him. She quickly found a bench to sit in and laid back, taking in a moment for herself. Before she knew it the sun had nearly disappeared.

 

_ ‘Going outside might not have been the best idea,’ _ Lovina thought to herself, sighing,  _ ‘now I don’t want to go back.’ _ Nevertheless she took in a deep breath and got up, she brushed the back of her skirt to get rid of any dirt the bench might have had and walked to her house. As she got closer the heavier and heavier her heart felt, however she refused to cry. No tears would be shed for that tomato bastard, after all, hadn’t this been something expected? For the two most cheerful idiots in her life to get together…….and eventually walk away without her? Yes, it was. She refused to walk besides them, she wasn’t good enough for that. She held little to no shine of her own to even attempt to.

 

As she walked in she could already here the bright voices of the two, and the boasting laughter of her Nonno.

 

“That’s magnifico!” Said person spoke, excitement obvious in his tone.

 

Lovina opened the door and walked into the kitchen, as she passed the living room she could already see Antonio and Felicia cuddling, Felicia resting her head on the male’s shoulder and Antonio resting his head on top of Felicia’s.

 

It didn’t surprise her that the three of them ignored her in favor of each other as she walked past them to the kitchen. She quickly dived into the fridge and pulled out leftovers before using the microwave to warm them up. Once heated she walked over to one of the kitchen drawers and pulled out a fork. She then grabbed the now warm plate and a piece of bread before going to leave the room, however the cheerful voice of her sorella stopped her.

 

“Sorella!” She heard, before a sudden ball of energy tackled her in a hug. Quickly setting her food to the side she hugged her sorella back before pulling away, “don’t hug me so quickly you idiot!” She shouted at her, scowling, “you nearly made me drop my pasta.”   
  


 

“Sorry sorella!” Felicia yelped, quickly scampering to get away from her, “but I just wanted to tell you me and Toni are together now!” she squealed, running over to hug her new boyfriend.

 

Lovina rolled her eyes and smiled fondly at her sister, no matter how much she tried she couldn’t ever hate her. Who could possibly hate such an innocent soul?

 

“I’m happy for you two,” she told her sister, smiling at her, however that smile quickly turned into a glare as she turned to face Antonio, “just remember bastard,” she started, a cold edge creeping into her voice, “hurt her and I’ll hurt you back ten times worse.” And with that being said she once more picked up her plate and fork before going up to her room, once she entered and locked the door she quickly placed them on her bedside table before throwing herself on her bed. She rolled around for a while, hugging her tomato plushy and allowing the last few moments to sink in before standing up angrily.

 

_ ‘No tears will be shed for that tomato bastard’  _ she decided as she chewed on her pasta angrily,  _ ‘he doesn’t deserve them…..I’m stronger than this….I’ll survive on my own……..like I always do.’ _

 

And so for the next few days she had avoided sitting with her sorella and her boyfriend during lunch. Instead she had sat by herself, eating her pasta and reading whatever book might catch her fancy. Before she knew it, reading had become part of her every day routine, and she found herself looking forward to that small hour of freedom and quiet she had for herself. 

 

However fate always seemed to hate Lovina, which is probably why as soon as she entered her first period she took notice of the new seating arrangement her teacher had made. Groups of two apparently were in style. She sighed before taking in the groups. As her eyes scanned the room she took in the two options. One of them, of course, was the tomato bastard, seeing as she was the only one in the class he knew he probably expected her to sit with him, however jokes on him, she knew exactly who she was going to sit with.

 

She walked past him, not noticing the hurt reflecting on the others green eyes, before sitting next to a blonde haired guy she was somewhat familiar with.

 

“Hope this seat wasn’t taken maple bastard,” she said unapologetically.

 

“U-um n-no it w-wasn’t y-your welcome t-to sit h-here if y-you want,” he stuttered.

 

Lovina rolled her eyes, “of course I want to sit here,” she snapped at him, making sure to keep her volume down so as to not scare the other, “otherwise I wouldn’t be here now would I?”

 

At this the ‘maple bastard’ otherwise known as Matthew Williams let out a chuckle as he took in her bright red face before nodding in agreement, “I-I guess this makes us partners then,” he agreed, his stutter now gone as he figured the italian girl less harmless than expected.

 

Before they knew it the both of them had gotten comfortable with each other. They talked about everything ranging from classes to projects, to their siblings, to books. Before long the bell had rang signaling the end of their first period class. As soon as it rang Lovina got up and grabbed her backpack before making a move to walk away.

 

“W-wait,” Matthew spluttered, quickly shoving his book into his backpack before going after her.

 

“What do you want maple bastard?” Lovina asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

“I-I w-want to walk you to class if you don’t mind,” he mumbled, resisting the urge to fidget, “we have the same class anyways.”

 

“Why not,” Lovina agreed, shrugging her shoulders, “your way less annoying than I thought you’d be.”

 

And with that, the two once more engaged in another conversation as they walked down the corridor together. Before they knew it the bell had rang and they quickly scurried inside, taking note of the fact that the seats were once more arranged by two.

 

As the two walked into class they both happened to look down at the same time and blushed bright red as they took in the fact that they had been holding hands. Quickly separating they both walked towards the corner seats, which were both empty, before sitting down side by side, placing their bags down. As the two once more got into another deep debate, they both missed the glare a certain spaniard sent their way.

 

As it was the end of the year they pretty much had nothing but free days, and thanks to this time went by faster for Lovina more than ever before. Once more as the bell rang signaling the end of the class she found that she shared classes with Matthew. Every single one. How she had missed it was beyond her. However thanks to him she was able to forget about Antonio, and before long he was nothing more than a small worry shoved down to the corner of her mind.

 

The same couldn’t be said for Antonio though. As the two talked they were oblivious to his glaring, both of them lost in their own little world. He saw as Lovina went a deep red at something the blonde had said. He saw as the two obviously got closer together the more and more they talked. And he didn’t like it. He clenched his fists tightly as he saw Lovina get her phone out before passing it to the other male. He saw the male type something into her phone before forcing the girl to take a picture together. Once satisfied he gave her phone back to him and took his out, handing it to her. Antonio’s stomach clenched in displeasure as she watched her take a picture of herself on the other guys phone, and so he walked off, without waiting for her as he usually did.

 

A couple of minutes later he saw Lovina and his girlfriend walking towards him, and as he took in the fact that Lovina was by herself, a deep feeling of satisfaction filled his chest. He didn’t know why she had avoided sitting with him in favor of the other male, however either way this was the time in which he could finally talk to her and put an end to it all, or so he thought.

 

“Toni!” Felicia chirped, happily skipping over to the other male, once she reached him she quickly gave him a hug and a peck on the cheek. Lovina let out a sigh and shook her head.

 

“Hola Lovi!” The spaniard greeted the italian girl, taking no note of the other italian hanging from his arm.

 

Lovina narrowed her eyes at him, “Bastard,” she greeted, before walking past him, “I have to go Felicia,” she informed her sister, “I’m hanging out with Matthew for a while before coming home.”

 

Antonio’s eyes narrowed in displeasure and he tightened his grip on Felicia, gripping her hand tightly, jealousy filled his core and he resisted the urge to snap at Lovina, “and who’s Matthew?”

 

He asked instead, smiling coldly. 

 

Lovina took no note of this, she merely rolled her eyes before walking off, giving him the finger, “none of your fucking business.”

 

Antonio’s eyes darkened and he tightened his grip on Felicia, a startled yelp quickly snapped him out of it.

 

“Toni you’re hurting me,” Felicia whimpered, taking advantage of him loosening his grip to snatch her hand away. 

 

“Sorry Felicia,” he said distractedly, almost uncaringly, as thoughts of  _ his _ Lovina going on a date with another man filled his mind. As more and more images filled his mind the jealousy in his chest grew, which is what caused him to call out coldly, “hold on Lovina.”

 

Lovina, rolled her eyes but turned around nonetheless, “look bastard I don’t know who you think you are,” she started, “but the reason that I tolerate you is because you’re my sorellas boyfriend,” she continued bluntly, ignoring the flinch he gave at her remark, “you are nobody, and I repeat nobody to fucking boss me around. Now I’m going to fucking leave, and you’re going to take my sorella out on a date and you are going to make all of this fucking useless drama up to her, got it?” she ended coldly.

 

The more and more Lovina spoke the angrier Antonio felt, images of her talking laughing and blushing with that, that maldito filled his mind and before he knew it he quickly shouted out, “what the fuck does that pinche cabron have that I don’t!”

 

Lovina let out a bark of laughter at the same time that Felicia let out a startled squeak, tears already filling her brown eyes.

 

“Well I don’t know,” started Lovina, “maybe he isn’t dating my fucking sister,” she snapped.

 

Antonio flinched. She was right. Why did he feel jealous? Why did he feel like ripping off the other man's arms every time he got closer and closer to the elder italian? Why did his heart feel so heavy with every cold glare she directs his way? Wasn’t it Felicia that he liked? But then why had he been looking her way, trying to figure out her reaction to him dating her sister? They haven’t even been dating for a week, and yet he had already grown endlessly annoyed at his girlfriend’s endless pasta worshipping. But why?

 

He didn’t want to know why. He didn’t want to figure out the true reason. He didn’t want to admit his mistake. He didn’t want to admit his true feelings to the beautifully angry spitfire that was currently glaring his way, a frown decorating her pretty face. Nevertheless the more he thought about it, the more lies he thought about diving into to hide from the cruel reality, he just couldn’t. And by finally admitting the truth to himself his face paled and his heart grew heavy. He had never loved Felicia, it had been Lovina right from the start. Felicia had just been something he had used as an excuse to go and visit. To go and see Lovina, to look at her beautifully tomato red blush and hear her voice, even if all she did was shout at him. He just wanted to be acknowledged by her, and the more he came to visit the more desperate he became as he realized that the invisible wall separating him and Lovina grew no smaller.

 

Lovina watched as the other male’s face slowly lost color and scowled. She quickly wrapped an arm around her now sobbing sister before letting out a sigh, “lets go sorella,” she told her gently, “he isn’t worth your time. I can always hang out with Matthew some other time.”

 

Feliciana, to overwhelmed by the previous ordeal nodded, sniffing slightly. Just as Lovina turned around however Antonio quickly blurted out, “Lovina wait!”

 

Lovina paused for a bit before sighing, “what do you want bastard,” she snapped, “haven’t you done enough damage.”

 

Antonio glanced at Feliciana guiltily, “I-I’m sorry Felicia,” he began, he opened his mouth to begin apologizing when the youngest of the three interrupted.

 

“I-It’s alright Toni,” she sniffed, “I-I always had a hunch that you loved my sorella...I...I just had hope that I could get you to look at me the same way you looked at her someday,” she removed herself from Lovina’s grasp before giving the spaniard one final sad smile, “I think I need to be alone right now…….I’ll let you two talk,” she ended, before walking off.

 

Antonio looked off at Felicia sadly before turning to look at Lovina, “Lovi…..” he began, “I’m sorry….I...I’ve been nothing but a stupid jerk all of this time…...dating your sister….” he continued, “was a mistake...she’s wonderful but….she isn’t you…...I…...I think all along you’re the one I should have been chasing after…” He brought his head up to look at her directly in the eyes before kneeling down on both knees, “Lovina….please give me a chance to make this right….I...give me a chance to correct my mistakes….please give this stupid man another chance.”

 

Lovina glanced at the spaniard. She knew she should be jumping from joy right now. She should be happy shouldn’t she? But all she felt was a deep sadness, her chest feeling strangely hollow as well. She glanced down at Antonio, the male was still kneeling on both knees, his fists clenching tightly before finally deciding.

 

“Antonio,” she began, “I...I always told myself I wasn’t good enough for you, you know,” she began, Antonio quickly looked up, eyebrows furrowing, she smiled sadly at his expression before shaking her head, “let me finish this….is hard enough to say without interruptions” She took a deep breath before continuing, “every time you and Felicia would meet I always felt excluded…after the first few times I decided it was best to distance myself from you both…..and when you finally asked me for permission to date my sister…….I succeeded……..I…” Lovina swallowed roughly, blinking away the tears threatening to fall, “I’m sorry but I can’t…..I can’t…” she shook her head before continuing, “I can’t be with you,” she admitted lastly, both to him and herself as well.

 

Antonio glanced at the italian. Her beautiful auburn hair and sparkling olive green eyes were staring straight at him. How could he have been so blind? How could he have been so stupid as to not realize his feelings for the other sooner. He was too late now. He had just lost the most important person in his life without knowing.

 

“I understand Lovi,” he whispered his whole body dropping lower in resignation.

 

“I really did like you Antonio,” Lovina admitted, smiling ruefully, and with that she turned around and walked away from him. Away from the person who had broken her heart. And although she felt sadness course through her, she felt something akin to hope as well. She was snapped out of her trance as her phone vibrated, quickly getting it out of her pocket she quickly opened the screen only to see a new message there.

 

**Matthew:**  So are we still going to hand out after school? I know this place that makes crazy good maple pancakes.

 

And as she read the message that hope cruised through her faster. Although she may have just closed a chapter of her life in one of the saddest ways she had just started a new one as well. As guilty as she felt she didn’t find herself regretting her decision. She may have given up on him too soon, but he had been too late as well, and for the first time in her life, with Matthew Lovina felt wanted. She felt accepted, and that was something she wasn’t willing to give up. 

 

**Lovina:** I’m on my way maple bastard, don’t rush me.

**Author's Note:**

> Lol sorry not sorry Antonio my South Italy bias just grabbed control of me in this one (when does it not?)
> 
> I used to see a few of these running around and it always sort of annoyed me that Lovina/Lovino still settled for Spain even after dating North Italy so I decided to use all of that rage to form this small one-shot lol.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed it~ 
> 
> Do comment any constructive criticism you have~


End file.
